If someone’s missing from the picture this holiday season, you’re probably wondering how in the world you’re going to make it through to January. You are not alone. It was just weeks before Thanksgiving the year my mom suddenly died; and a couple years later, my dad went to be with the Lord on December 9th. The holidays seemed like a really bad idea those years. I remember getting together with my brothers and sisters to make an emergency plan for what had always been the “most wonderful time of the year.”
Here are a few things I wish I had known about grief through the holidays:
* Martha Stewart doesn’t live here. Give yourself permission to bring it all [cooking, decorating, entertaining, Christmas cards, whatever] down a notch. Do what you love and feel up to doing.
* It’s OK to steer clear of events or individuals that exhaust you.
* Let people know it’s OK- even really helpful to say the name of the person you’re missing. Sharing sweet memories can be great therapy.
* Take time time everyday to rest. A little time in a dark room to sleep, write, cry… whatever you need to do, can be refreshing.
* The Lord really is close to the broken hearted- and will rescue us when our spirits are crushed. (Psalm 34:18)If you’re feeling overwhelmed by grief, asking someone to pray for you is brilliant.
* Get together with those closest to you to make a plan for where you want to be on the holiday. Don’t let the day sneak up on you.
* There’s no need to apologize if you need to leave an event early. Parking an escape car automobile where you can get out easily might be a great idea.
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If reminiscing and sharing stories about your loved one makes you laugh or cry, both are really OK.
* You are stronger than you think you are. You are going to get through this.
What do you wish someone had told you?