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Getting Unstuck from Grief

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It’s been 20+years since my beloved mom (aka Beazy) suddenly graduated to heaven… but I’m thinking there’s someone who might need to hear this today. Grace and peace, Beth

Have you ever gotten so caught up in grief, you weren’t sure you’d ever find your way out? I surely have.

It was four months after my mom’s hit-me-like-a speeding-train sudden death. Even though I was pretending I had this grief thing under control, in reality I was stuck and had no idea how to dig myself out of the deep sorrow. A typical day would be spent at home, safe from awkward questions and embarrassing public tears. Anybody else been there?

One morning after the kids had gone to school, I settled into my cozy chair and started to think about my mom. 

What if I forget about her?

What if memories fade and I don’t remember the time she followed a speeding ambulance through rush hour Atlanta traffic to beat the crowd to Hobby Lobby? Didn’t everybody’s mom do that?

I start to write every sweet, embarrassing and hilarious story I could possibly recall. About two hours later I realized I hadn’t moved a muscle, except to write.

The most amazing thing happened that morning. As decades of memories poured out on my spiral notebook pages~ I started to smile, and even laugh again through the tears. Tears of thankfulness for this rare and extraordinary woman I called Mom.

How about you? I don’t know your story, but I do know that remembering the people we love is a beautiful way not only to honor them, but also to begin to heal. Do you have a place you can go to write their story? You don’t need an expensive journal- a spiral notebook like mine will be just perfect.

My prayer is that as you recall and write your good, bad and crazy ambulance-chasing Hobby Lobby stories, you’ll begin to see sweet glimmers of healing. 

Please visit the Grief Survivor FaceBook to share a funny, sweet or memorable story about your loved one. Your stories of love, loss, life and finding joy inspire the rest of us more than you know!

Additionally, here’s a YouVersion plan I created –Grief Survivor -that will hopefully be encouraging for you.  

Holiday Tips when Life is Hard

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When you’re missing someone you love, going through a tough medical situation, or maybe life just isn’t where you thought it would be by now, the holidays may not feel like the most wonderful time of the year.

So, what do you do when sparkly lights and jingle bells don’t feel so merry and bright? Here are a few thoughts that might help.

  • Cry when you’re sad, smile or laugh when you’re happy- and don’t feel guilty about any of it. Sorrow and joy can definitely coexist.
  • Make a plan with your closest people, so that the most intense days- like Christmas and New Year’s Eve- don’t sneak up on you.
  • If decorating, house guests, gift buying, or holiday gatherings are sucking the ever-loving life out of you, don’t let traditions be the boss of you. It’s OK to do what you love, and let the rest go.
  • If you’re feeling lonely or isolated, tell somebody. Chances are, not everyone knows how tough these holidays are for you.
  • Make memories, instead of buying a lot of stuff. Paint pottery together, go ice skating, or (please don’t tell our grand daughters this part) take a kid to get sparkly “fairy hair.” They’ll remember those days long after the gifts are forgotten.
  • Take care of you. Getting fresh air, going for coffee, working out, taking a nap, creating something, or getting a massage- can spark joy, even on the toughest days. Rest is not a four letter word. [OK, so technically it is, but not the kind that got you in trouble in middle school.] Give yourself permission to rest.

Life won’t always be this hard. I promise.

I invite you to visit the Grief Survivor Facebook page to add your thoughts.

May your holiday season be filled with God’s peace and love.

What Matters Most?

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 Sorry it’s been quiet around here for a minute. Earlier this year, our family went through some really hard days with a serious illness. We’re forever grateful for all the prayers and kindness- thankfully, all is well now. 

As soon as my beloved husband and I got a minute to exhale, we made the decision- after 34 years in South Carolina, to move our whole life to Flat Rock, North Carolina! I mean, why not? 

The NC mountains have always been our happy place, but the most fun part about the move will be living super close to (2/3 of) our kids and grand people.

Marie Kondo-ing (brutally determining what stays and what goes) a lifetime of possessions has revealed a few things. The 1950’s Baptist Church recipe book, filled with cream of everything soup & crushed Ritz crackers drenched in “oleo” recipes…not going. 

But, this tiny precious chair, lovingly hand-painted by a dear friend, is absolutely making the trip!

The colossal move ahead of us has shone a bright light on what really matters most. For us, faith, family, friends. (and fun furniture)

The scary medical season reminded me to hold my favorite humans a little closer, and tell them I love them- a lot. 

What matters most to you?

If it’s your family and friends- I want to encourage you to let them know! I’ll go first.  I’m thankful for you, and want you to know You Matter!     

Can’t wait to get back to you soon with updates for Uncrushed (my newest book), also to tell you about some friends’ phenomenal books that are launching in the next couple weeks!! I’m talking about you, Jessye WIlden and Michelle Medlock Adams!!

  • (Sorry about the double printing of this post [below]! Technology… can’t live with it. Definitely can’t live without it!)



                                                     What Matters Most
Sorry it’s been quiet around here for a minute. Earlier this year, our family went through some really hard days with a serious illness. We’re forever grateful for all the prayers and kindness- thankfully, all is well now. 

As soon as my beloved husband and I got a minute to exhale, we made the decision- after 34 years in South Carolina, to move our whole life from Upstate South Carolina to Flat Rock, North Carolina! I mean, why not? 

The NC mountains have always been our happy place, but the most fun part about the move will be living super close to (2/3 of) our kids and grand people. 😇

Marie Kondo-ing (brutally determining what stays and what goes) a lifetime of possessions has revealed a few things. The 1950’s Baptist Church recipe book, filled with cream of everything soup & crushed Ritz crackers drenched in “oleo” recipes…not going. 

But, this tiny precious chair, lovingly hand-painted by a dear friend, is absolutely making the trip!

The colossal move ahead of us has shone a bright light on what really matters most. For us, faith, family, friends. (and fun furniture 😊)

The scary medical season reminded me to hold my favorite humans a little closer, and tell them I love them- a lot. 

What matters most to you? If it’s your family and friends- I want to encourage you to let them know! I’ll go first.  I’m thankful for you, and want you to know You Matter!     

Can’t wait to get back to you soon with the update for Uncrushed (my newest book), also to tell you about some phenomenal friends’ books that are launching in the next couple weeks!! 









20 seconds of insane courage

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Have you ever permanently opted out of something after one too many bad breaks?

For me it was hiking. In the ER after breaking my third leg (not kidding) on a rocky, slippery trail… I kissed hiking goodbye. No more. I’m out. It’s just not worth it.

That was until today when Ava the Avalon and I slammed on brakes at the Linville Falls sign. The hike down to the falls was not terribly treacherous, but was magnificent. The “20 seconds of insane courage” it took to hike the first step on the unknown trail was pure terror and sweet exhilaration. I was finally ready for fear to stop bossing me around.

What fears have you overcome? Roller coasters? Quitting the job that wasn’t sparking joy anymore? Dating? Failure?

What would you do with 20 seconds of insane courage?

I want to encourage you to

Do the thing.

Start the business

Call the guy (or girl)

Take the hike.

God’s got this and He’s got You.

Miracles in the Madness

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It’s no secret, the past couple years have been a bit of a dumpster fire for a lot of us. Whether it was a terrifying medical diagnosis, family trauma, pandemic stress, or something else- you may have wondered how in the world you would get through it. 

I get it.

A few years ago, it felt as though there was no escaping the waves of adversity that started washing over me, and just wouldn’t stop. Maybe, you know the feeling.

  • The first mishap was breaking my leg. It was actually my third broken leg. Seriously, who breaks 3 legs? Mercy.
  • Then came the dental discovery that a beloved front tooth had a fracture above the gum line.  
  • Next was the monstrous tree, just feet from our house- uprooted by tornado-ish winds. 
  • And, then on December 23rd, a flying (rein)deer crashed into my car, shattering two windows. [The “grandma got run over by a reindeer” joke was, in my opinion, a bit Too Soon.] 

Through it all, I know it sounds a little crazy, but God was really good.  Even in one of the hardest years ever, there seemed to be miracles hidden in the madness. 

A few highlights:

The Lord healed the busted leg to the point of being able to do pretty much everything (except, according to the surgeon, play rugby). 

A superhero periodontist not only rescued me from a life with no front tooth, but she also made me smile again. 

We were spared from a tree crashing through our bedroom. And were able to make the most of the situation. 

When the flying reindeer annihilated my car, and removed the window that was inches from my face- I walked away without a scratch. Straight up miraculous. 

All that to say, “God is still God; and God is still Good. To God be the glory!”     quote cred: Zac Smith.

If you’re going through more than you could have imagined, I want to remind you- you’re not alone. God sees you. He loves you. He’s never ever going to leave you.

Even in the madness, never stop looking for miracles.

Never Saw that Coming

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Six weeks ago, I spent a few days at the coast with a dear friend, wrapping up the first draft manuscript for the new book, Uncrushed: real steps for healing your grief and restoring your joy. I remember thinking, “girl, this book’s ready to go, nothing more to see here… you nailed it.” 

That was until the last night of my visit when my friend asked if I would read the book aloud to her. Whaaat? That’s crazy, I quickly responded. No way. I finally agreed to read some of the chapters, even though it felt super awkward. It didn’t take long to discover the value of reading your stuff out loud to someone you trust. 

Back to the story

Uncrushed intentionally starts out as real, light, and inviting as humanly possible for a grief-relief book. 

Twenty minutes in, I began to read the chapter that I had almost omitted- the part about my beloved dad’s painful battle with diagnosed, yet untreated mental illness, that led to what felt like a total collapse of our family.   

That’s the moment I started to cry… reading my own words. I never saw those tears coming. 

My precious friend gently suggested, “you’re not fully healed from that pain, are you?”

She was so right. It had never occurred to me that the deep grief and trauma our family experienced was something that still needed healing. 

Thankfully, I’ve been able to connect with a gifted counselor who’s been helping me deal with the “uncried tears” around my dad’s illness.

The book writing process has been teaching me a lot:  

  • letting people in doesn’t mean you’re weak. It takes strength to admit you’re drowning.
  • it’s never ever too late for the Lord to heal your heart.
  • reading your stuff aloud is actually not weird. Unless you’re in Starbucks like I am right now. Then it’s weird.

I’m happy to tell you my precious dad was ultimately able to get the help he needed and restore a lot of what was lost. Thank you, Lord. 

I want to remind you that whatever you’re dealing with right now matters. There is no anxiety, loss, depression, heart ache, or pain that is too small or too big for the Lord to touch. 

Make the call. Tell a friend. Connect with a counselor. You’re worth it. We were never designed to go through the wonderful days or the difficult ones alone. 

How may we pray for you today?  I invite you to stop by my FaceBook page and join in the conversation. You are not alone.