Beth G. Marshall

Podcasts

Three Things (getting your grieving friend to say yes)

Last upated: by

Why “Call If You Need Anything” doesn’t help

If your world has ever been rocked by trauma- the death of a loved one, divorce, a miscarriage, a terrifying diagnosis… the list goes on- you’ve surely heard these words. “Call if you need anything!” But do we ever call?

Most people genuinely want to offer comfort, support, and kindness, but why do these well-meaning words fall flat?

We don’t know what we need. In the midst of a crushing season, it’s often all we can do to put one foot in front of the other, take a shower, and be sure the kids (and you) have on shoes. Having to think ahead, figure out meals, household needs, pets, plants, yard work may be way beyond what your mind can handle right now.

So, how can I help when I don’t know what they need? I heard the loveliest idea on Annie F. Downs’ phenomenal That Sounds Fun podcast- episode 910 with Willow Creek Community Church Teaching Pastor, Megan Fate Marshman. Since the sudden death of her beloved husband, Randy in 2021- Megan has learned volumes about what helps most when your world seems to collapse.

One idea she shared for reaching out is to offer three options. Rather than dropping a “call if you need anything” bomb- what would it look like to offer three practical things you can do… and asking which would be most helpful?

The Three Things offer can go something like this. “I’m available Wednesday to 1) drop off a warm meal on your front porch, 2) pick up your kids at school, take them to the park, help with their homework, feed them dinner, and deliver them- clean in pajamas at bedtime,

3) mow your lawn?

Or maybe like this. “Would it be helpful for me to 1) set up automatic bill pay on your computer, 2) provide movie and dinner gift cards, or 3) clean your gutters?”

I think you get the idea. The closer you are, the more personal your three thing list will be. For someone who isn’t as close- you might want to

  • sign up on a Meal Train list to deliver a meal on a certain day… often a “drop and run” is more helpful than visiting.
  • sending an encouraging note, along with a coffee, Target, or an awesome local gift card
  • leave a bag of fun things at the door for the kids. Text to let your friend know it’s there.
  • for more helpful ideas, like designating a “point person” to keep things organized- please check out this episode (#302) of the Nothing is Wasted podcast, where host Davey Blackburn and I cover lots more helpful ways to be a great friend when your friend is hurting.

Well, that’s it for today. What other ideas would you add to the “three things” list?!! Please share them here on my FB page. Thanks, y’all.

A few of my favorite things- (podcast edition)

Last upated: by

To kick off 2024, I’m thrilled to share a few of my favorite podcasts with you. Hope you’ll give them a listen!!

  • The Writing Room. World-class hosts, authors, and humans, Bob Goff and Kimberly Stuart have helped hundreds of writers “push their words from the crazy-dream stage to holding books with actual bar codes. After a bunch of years in publishing and a bunch of books launched, Bob and Kim have found that, like most things, writing works best when tackled with good friends. The Writing Room is a place where authors talk shop, stoke their curiosity, and get the nudge we all need to finish our work.”
  • The Molden Cast. Host, Jessye Wilden is a dear friend, a speaker, best-selling author, gifted storyteller, wife, mom of five, and all round Superhuman at “helping others hold onto goodness when life hurts most.”
    You’re gonna love “The Molden Cast,”  hearing from Jessye and her terrific line up of dynamic guests (including her beloved husband Ryan and all five kids!)… all coming to you from magnificent Mt. Shasta, California. 
  • That Sounds Fun with Annie F. Downs.  Annie is a New York Times Best-selling author, speaker, and podcast host, based in Nashville, Tennessee.   She is a huge fan of confetti poppers, boiled peanuts, soccer, and the Georgia Bulldogs!  In her That Sounds Fun podcast, Annie shares her “favorite friends, stories, and interviews—if it sounds fun, you’ll know about it!”

That’s it for today, but if you get a moment- please stop by the Beth Marshall Author FaceBook page and share some of your favorite things for 2024!!
Happiest New Year to you and all those you love!

Getting Uncrushed from grief

Last upated: by

A sneak peak of what’s to come in the new book!


Is God really able to heal my shattered heart?

If you’re reading this, I’m guessing you’re missing an important part of your life puzzle. Whether you had time to say goodbye or death came suddenly, life without someone you love can feel chaotic, confusing, and downright crushing. While every person’s experience after loss is unique, you, too, may have more questions than answers. When you care deeply about someone, the sorrow when they’re gone can feel overwhelming.  

Through losing my mom, my dad, and later, my “yes-you-may-drive-my-purple-dune-buggy-to-high school” sister-in-law, Kay, the Lord has reminded me that their life stories are absolutely too important and too rich to be forgotten. 

One memorable story that comes to mind right now was the day my 5-year-old brother, John carved, with his kindergarten scissors on Mom’s mahogany dining room table, “I LOVE MOMY.” He didn’t even spell her name right! While the tiny criminal got in a little trouble, everyone knew she thought his permanent love note was pretty awesome. Deep down we always understood that to Beazy, people were more important than things. Always. My brother, John actually has the permanent mahogany love note in his dining room today. Little criminal. 

I’m sharing this family moment, and will be sharing lots more hope-filled stories from friends, because I believe you, too, probably have memories that are too important to be forgotten! And preserving priceless stories can be a significant step toward healing your grief and restoring your joy. 

Wherever you are on your journey, will you imagine a few possible scenarios with me?

  • What if the pain won’t always be this intense?
  • What if you could be confident your loved one won’t be forgotten?
  • What if you’re stronger than you think you are?
  • What if the person who used to finger paint with chocolate pudding (or whatever your life used to look like) is still inside, anxious to return? 
  • What if God really can turn your mourning into dancing? 

Uncrushed: real steps toward healing your grief and restoring your joy is different from anything I’ve found on the market because You and Your loved one are part of the story. You won’t find any psychobabble or promises that grief is a linear or not-messy process. What you will find are real life steps to help you feel what you’re feeling, know it’s OK to cry, and it’s OK to laugh, say yes to people who love you, and believe there really can be joy-filled life even after deep loss.

My friend, God sees you and He loves you. He will be with you every step of the way. No pain is too deep for Him to touch.

We invite you to stop by the Grief Survivor Facebook Page. Your stories of love, loss, life and finding joy inspire the rest of us more than you know! We’re all in this together.

Below are a few comments from recent months on the Grief Survivor blog. I share them to let you are not alone. God’s peace, my friends.

Where is Everybody?!

Last upated: by

Losing a part of your life puzzle is always hard. Losing someone during a global pandemic~ indescribable. 

Remember the days when people would show up for you in person? Help you plan a beautiful service to celebrate your loved one’s life? Bring meals? Wrap you up in a warm blanket of care after a painful loss? Me too. 

This crazy world of quarantines, social distancing and Covid-19 has brought monstrous changes to life, relationships, work, school, graduations, celebrations and how we mourn those we love. The new (and hopefully temporary!) normal has been a challenge for people across the globe, but especially for those who are grieving.

Here are a few thoughts and resources that might be helpful today and in the days ahead.

1. Spend the first moments of your day with the Lord. If you’re new to reading the bible, the YouVersion app is an outstanding resource. This Grief Survivor 8 day plan might be a comforting place to start.

Find a cozy spot away from distractions and the noise of life, switch your phone to airplane mode and bask in a few moments of solitude. Reading God’s word early in the morning, journaling what’s on your heart and spending a few moments in prayer can calm anxious thoughts and set a peaceful tone for your day. Enjoy the quiet… (until you switch your phone back from airplane mode).

2. Check in with others. During this unprecedented time of life disruption and quarantine, it’s more important then ever to see faces and hear voices of people you care about. When meeting in person is impossible, Zoom or FaceTime virtual visits can be the next best thing. Consider exchanging memorable stories and photos of your loved one through social media, text or email. Better yet, why not send each other a handwritten note along with a favorite photo? Pure Gold!

3. Check out one of my very favorite sites- Nothing is Wasted. Davey Blackburn and his team have created an extraordinary podcast and content designed to help you “find purpose through the pain.” Their new online community groups are helping people around the world connect with others who truly understand.

This podcast episode is all about finding hope and healing through preserving sweet memories.

“Part of healing is just being open to the fact that it will not always be this hard.”- well I think I might have said that!

My prayer for you today is that you will find hope, healing and ultimately joy-filled life.

Mother’s Day- Remembering the Goodness

Last upated: by

I love my family. Like, seriously love them so much. And celebrations are one of the things we do best. Celebrating things like birthdays, new babies, rain, Gerber daisies, fall leaves and Georgia Football. I think you get the picture. Over the years we’ve lost three of our family favorites, and I remember wondering if I’d ever feel like celebrating again. Maybe that’s you right now, if you’re missing someone you love this Mother’s Day.

Here are a couple ideas I hope will help someone who is struggling right now.

Recognize the Reality

Losing my mom, aka “Beazy,” was one of the hardest roads our family has ever walked. She was the glue that held our crazy puzzle together, with her over-the-top gift of hospitality. Living her best life included welcoming strangers, taking home-cooked meals to friends and creating fun t-shirts with the grand kids at “Camp Beazy.” Mom’s grand kid camp tradition is still going strong- 20 years later!

I wish I could tell you I navigated the tough season of grief with perfect skill and grace; but my temptation was actually to run as far as I could from the pain. Can anybody relate? You may have discovered a few things that anesthetize the pain (for a minute) ~  meds, mac and cheese, maybe margaritas? Too bad that comfort can’t last! 

The one thing that did make a difference was setting aside time to get away from technology and other distractions and be still. As I rested in solitude, I’d try to allow the waves of sorrow to wash over me, rather than running from the pain. Those moments were never easy, but always seemed to bring

Remember and Celebrate the Goodness    

Back to Beazy. She was honestly no ordinary mom. Even when a kindergarten brother, who shall remain nameless (you know who you are) carved, “I LOVE MOMY” with his tiny scissors- on her mahogany dining table, she found a way to keep on loving the little criminal angel.

There was nothing you could ever do to change her crazy gigantic love for you. No matter what. To her, people were more important than things. Always.

I want to be more like that when I grow up.

If you’re missing someone this Mother’s Day, remember their story is much too important to be forgotten. I encourage you to keep memories fresh by 1) saying her name and 2) telling and re-telling her story. Reaching out on social media is an excellent way to invite friends and family to share a photo or memory- maybe even one you’ve never seen or heard before!

It was an honor to join the phenomenal Colleen Kavanaugh on The After Life Podcast to discuss how to handle special days while grieving. Hope you’ll give it a listen. 

Does your family have special traditions for celebrating an awesome person you’re missing? Please share them with us on the Grief Survivor Facebook page.

Happy Healthy Caregiver Podcast!

Last upated: by

Hey awesome friends-

So this was cool. Here is the podcast I got to record with my friend, and host of the Happy Healthy Caregiver Podcast, Elizabeth Miller.

We talked about fun families, crazy New Year’s traditions, life, loss and sparking joy… even when life is tough. Elizabeth is a pure delight- hope you’ll enjoy our conversation!

(photo cred: Austin Distel, Unsplash) thank you!