Unless you are hiking the Australian outback or cruising the Mediterranean, you probably know Father’s Day is right around the corner. There’s no escaping the TV and internet images of families grilling out and celebrating dads. If you’re wondering what Father’s Day will look like this year with your dad missing from the picture, you are not alone.
My dad’s name was John Glenn. He was not the astronaut, but occasionally this John Glenn didn’t mind leveraging his famous name in a tough situation. I recall a restaurant hostess asking dad if he was, “the real John Glenn,” assuming she probably meant the astronaut, not the actuary. Naturally, he told her he was. Hearing there was a celebrity in the house, she suddenly whisked us through the crowded lobby to a table that had magically become available. Go dad.
His office was the coolest place on earth, fully furnished with carbon paper, stamp pads and an adding machine the size of a Boeing 747. Even now, a whiff of pipe tobacco takes me back to the massive mahogany desk in dad’s office. I’ll never forget the day I filled his cherished wooden pipe with bubbles. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.
Dad proudly displayed our clay hand prints and melted crayon waxed paper bookmarks. On his desk were framed photos of his five hooligan kids- even the awkward beautiful middle school pictures with our dominant front teeth before braces. No matter how busy he was, dad always seemed to have time to hear about our latest shenanigans.
How about you? If you are missing your dad right now, or maybe you are a father grieving the loss of a beloved child, Father’s Day can feel suffocating. What will you do with Father’s Day this year? Maybe one of these ideas will help:
Change things up.
Be intentional to plan your strategy for the holiday.
Spend time with family or friends who understand. You might even want to get out of town somewhere refreshing and away from the intense Father’s Day focus.
Tell somebody. Often after losing someone, you’re surrounded by people, flowers and a mountain of cards. Sadly, as flowers fade and the crowd disappears, the silence can be deafening. If you’re struggling this Father’s day you might need to let someone know what you need- maybe to meet for coffee or join you for a walk or to take in a mindless movie.
Remember. Telling your family’s stories is one of the best ways to keep memories fresh and allow healing to begin. Let people know it’s okay to say the name of the person you’re missing. In the wake of Kay and Pastor Rick Warren’s darkest day, the tragic death of their son Matthew, an outpouring of kindness came from around the world. Pastor Rick responded by posting a request on Twitter, asking anyone who knew Matthew to send his family a Matthew story or photograph. Such a phenomenal way to add to their treasured memories, and remember how much Matthew’s life touched others.
I encourage you to keep telling the story of the person you’re missing this Father’s Day. What I would give right now to add up a few #s on dad’s monstrous adding machine! Love you, Dad.