Grief is seriously not for sissies. But during the holidays… well, it’s a whole ‘nutha level.
I’m thinking right now about the year when Christmas was just not right. Something was missing. Actually someone was missing. It was the year my mom (aka Beazy) had died suddenly- just weeks before Christmas.
As the weeks crept by, there was one thing my brothers and sisters discovered that could make the situation feel a little less terrible, at least for a moment. It was telling Beazy stories. We realized that even though our hearts were shattered, it was still OK to laugh. Many years later, our holiday celebrations are still infused with her legacy of laughter and love.
You could always spot Beazy on Interstate 85 between Atlanta and South Carolina. She was the grand mom in the blue Honda blasting loud Perry Como Christmas tunes – going 48 mph in the fast lane. The cooler in the back seat was filled with gingerbread dough and a six pack of Diet Cokes. It’s all about balance, people.
From time to time, I still love to write her a letter- mostly to say thanks.
Dear Mom, it’s Christmas week and gracious we miss you. You would ADORE your 11 precious grand and 15 great grand people. They are hooligans passionate individuals just like we were. There are a few things I hope I’ll never forget about you:
-the smocked Christmas dresses, and smocked jumpsuits superhero outfits you made for the little boys;
– the year (8 year old) Amy “set up” her bedroom for you, with 100% red lights. And how thoughtful you were not to tell her it looked like a brothel.
– the first New Years Day in my new job with Delta, when you showed up at the ATL airport with sauerkraut and pork. Who knew that re-cooked sauerkraut aroma in the First Class oven could nearly cause a Boeing 727 evacuation?
Mom, thanks for making the holidays crazy fun, and for loving all five of your kids the most.
Love, Beth
If you’re missing someone you love this Christmas, you are not alone. I want to encourage you to write them a letter if you’re up to it. Find time to share stories with the people you love. You may want to ask friends and family via email or social media to share a photo or memory about them. The life of someone we love is way too important to be forgotten!
Do you have a favorite story about a person you’re missing this Christmas? Please share it with us on the Grief Survivor Facebook page.
God’s peace, my friends.