Have you ever been ambushed by sorrow? Some call the phenomenon a “grief burst.” It’s that moment when something – maybe a song, a sight, a scent or even a date on the calendar brings a wave of emotion you never saw coming.
It was the one year anniversary of my mom’s unexpected shocking death; and I was feeling pretty smug, having made it all day without a major meltdown.
Mom was one of the most encouraging and hilarious people I’d ever known. Her “no problem” attitude could bring calm to the chaos of her five ambunctious (ambitious + rambunctious) kids. And, no matter what life threw her way, she had a way of convincing you everything was going to be OK. Sadly, her sudden death was seriously not OK with me!
Back to the evening of the first anniversary. At an event with friends, from out of nowhere I felt my cheeks getting flushed and eyes welling up with tears. There was no hiding what came next… the full on out-of-control- somebody-call- Estee Lauder ugly cry.
I wonder if the dam might have burst from 365 days of trying to convince people I was OK, when in reality my heart was still feeling a little crushed.
As the tear tsunami subsided, a friend asked if he could pray for me. Funny how I had overlooked such an obvious secret weapon for so long. That night friends gathered around and prayed specifically that God would take away some of the pain from my heart. And He did.
When I woke the next morning, even though the circumstances had not changed- and mom was still gone, something felt different. The burden of sorrow felt lighter. Probably because I wasn’t carrying it all by myself. If you’re missing someone you love- you don’t have to either!
Here are three quick thoughts for anyone who has loved and lost:
1) Tell the truth. Pretending everything’s good when it’s not will keep you stuck.
2) Use your secret weapon. Ask someone to pray over you. The Lord hears those prayers. He loves you. He has been faithful to heal my crushed spirits, not just after losing my mom, but several times since.
3) Remember, “grief is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith. It’s the consequence of awesome love. And that’s OK.” ~ Mandy Smith
If you’re struggling through sorrow right now, this Surviving Grief without Losing Your Mind article might help.
I encourage you to let someone pray for you. If you can’t think of anyone, I would be honored to pray for you! [email protected]