You’d probably never guess how this bunch of beautiful women know each other. It’s a story no one was ever expecting, but their bond was immediate, and will probably last for years. Welcome to American Widow Project Smoky Mountain Adventure. The long weekend in Tennessee was a place where many realized it really is OK to cry; but it is also OK to smile, laugh, ride horseback and dance again.
I arrived with pages of notes for our workshop, hoping to offer a little encouragement. What actually happened was quite the opposite. These courageous women taught me volumes about life after crushing loss, and what true grit looks like.
The top ten things I learned from the “widow sisters” in Tennessee:
10) just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I’m not grieving. I have to keep going even when it feels like I’m, “swimming in peanut butter.”
9) you probably don’t ever want to say, “I know exactly how you feel,” especially if you’re about to compare the death of my hero husband to _________(your cat, a bad break up, or anything else in the world).
8) if you have a funny story or a photo of my man, please send it to me. Saying his name reminds me of the difference he made in your life, and that you miss him, too.
7) f-i-n-e is a four letter word. If I say it, and you don’t think I mean it- you probably need to ask a few more questions.
6) I might need to drop off the social media grid for a while; but please keep calling and texting me. I cherish your friendship.
5) sometimes pizza and beer are exactly what I need.
4) trying new things, like learning to play guitar, going back to school or even moving cross country can help me feel a little less stuck.
3) instead of, “call if you need anything”- a better idea might be to suggest, “I’d like to bring your dinner in 10 minutes. OK?” Or, “here are the keys to my beach house.” (sorry, I added that one)
2) if an anniversary, birthday or patriotic holiday is coming up, please let me know you’re thinking about me and my hero.
1) Even though I will always love and miss him, I’m tougher than I ever thought I was. I will survive this.
Thank you, ladies for showing me what true grit looks like.
To find out how you can get involved with the American Widow Project, visit their inspiring website here.