No one wants to talk about it. And you never think your family will become part of the heartbreaking statistic; but according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, one person dies by suicide every 13.7 minutes in the US. Particularly close to my heart are the staggering numbers of military heroes and pastors who have taken their own lives.
After a wave of suicide deaths in our Upstate SC community, I want to share a moment of my family’s story. And for the person feeling isolated and hopeless right now, please please please tell someone today. The pain you feel is real; but suicide is never the solution. There is always a way out.
Suicide does not end the pain; it passes it on to those who love you most.
When Suicide Hits Home From the outside uncle Bob’s life seemed perfect — lots of friends, a terrific job and a family who adored him. My mom’s fun-loving, talented brother had everything to live for. How could he have taken his own life?
Mental illness was not a subject anyone discussed back then. People were expected to be OK or at least pretend they were. As family members tried to make sense of the senseless catastrophe, my uncle Bob’s painful struggle through a dark valley of depression began to unfold. His beautiful wife, four small children, mother and sisters were left to pick up the pieces of their broken lives.
The collateral damage caused by suicide is immeasurable and can last for generations.
If you have suffered the loss of a loved one by suicide, you are not alone. In the devastating aftermath, survivors often feel guilt and shame as they question themselves. Could I have done something to prevent what happened? Were there signs I should have seen?
Grief after suicide is indescribably complicated. As I look back, there are three things I wish someone had told my family:
1) You may never understand why your loved one died the way they did; but it is not your fault.
2) Don’t go through this by yourself. A care pastor or professional grief counselor can help.
3) Remember the goodness in your loved one’s life, not just how they died. Over time, journaling and saving photos can help you refocus on memories of happier times.
God always has a better plan than ending your life. When you are tempted God promises to provide a way out, no matter how strong the temptation. “God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
For anyone having thoughts of suicide, the time to act is now. Depression, anxiety, a family history suicide or a traumatic life event can increase intense feelings of helplessness.
If you or someone you know is considering harming themselves, seek immediate treatment. Call 911, go to the local emergency room, or call a local crisis response team. You can also seek 24/7 support through National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1(800) 273-8255.
*pastor suicide article credit: Charisma News.