The music, yummy aromas and shimmering lights all conjure up memories of the most wonderful time of the year. But when you’re missing someone you love, the holidays can magnify the deep loss you’re feeling.
When my family lost a couple of our closest and favorite people – different years, but both within days of the holidays, “merry and bright” felt 1000 miles in the rear view mirror. Maybe you understand what I’m talking about.
So, how do you not only make it through the holidays, but create some sweet moments to savor? Hopefully these three quick tips will help:
Keep it Simple
Imagine November and December without a manic pace of cooking, decorating, entertaining, shopping and endless events. You can make it happen, but it might take a little rethinking what you’ve always done and embracing a little extra white space on your calendar.
If cooking, house guests or shopping spark joy for you, by all means do those things. But if there’s part of your holiday routine that multiplies the madness, give yourself permission to stop the insanity!
Schedule evenings at home by the fire sipping a warm beverage with your closest people. Say yes to the activities you love, and no to the rest. Being kind to yourself can create a sense of calm, even during a chaotic season.
Keep Your Sanity
Spend more time with people and doing things that energize you- and less with any that suck the living daylights out of exhaust you.
Keep it Fresh
Write the good stuff in a journal. Record sweet, serious or fun stories of the person you’re missing.
Stories like the day my hilarious sister-in-law, Kay offered me the keys to her metallic purple dune buggy- to drive to high school! Clearly 7 of the coolest hours of my life!.
And the time she (black belt in shopping and all things NYC) led a girl trip to The City for 2 days of Hard Rock Cafe, Broadway, Carmines and of course full contact shopping! Good thing no boys were invited on Kay’s girl trip. NY shopping would have felt like fishing with the game warden. 🙂
This holiday season I hope you’ll find time to:
* create a place to keep memories, photos and recipes.
* cook up one of those yummy recipes, grab a warm beverage and curl up by the fire.
* tell, retell and celebrate the stories of the person you’re missing. They’re much too important to be forgotten!
Here’s a super helpful article – 64 Tips for Coping with Grief at the Holidays from our friends at What’s Your Grief. Also, here’s the Grief Survivor 8 day plan, for anyone needing a little encouragement through grief today.
Who are you missing this Christmas season? Please share a comment, memorable story or photo here on my Facebook page.
Grace and peace, everybody.