lizgmarshall

https://newspring.cc/articles/12-things-i-wish-someone-had-told-me-about-grief

https://bethgmarshall.com/httpsnewspringccarticles12-things-i-wish-some/

What could somebody do to make a difference when you’ve lost someone you love? In the early days a warm meal, card or flowers can speak volumes; but down the road, is there a gift that could genuinely touch your heart?    

When you’ve loved and lost, memories are priceless treasures.

What if a friend or family member knows a story about your loved one that you’ve never heard? The next time a trusted friend wants to help, ask them to write a favorite memory and send it to you via mail or email. Can you imagine going to your computer or mailbox and discovering a funny story or photo you’ve never seen before?

As your treasures arrive, consider keeping them together in a scrapbook, memory box or journal. These stories will be a sweet reminder of the impact your loved one’s life made.    

Is there someone who might have a story to share with you? Would you consider reaching out to them today?

What other ideas do you have for keeping memories fresh?

Unless you are hiking the Australian outback or cruising the Mediterranean, you probably know Father’s Day is right around the corner. There’s no escaping the TV and internet images of happy families grilling out and celebrating dads. If you’re wondering what Father’s Day will look like this year with your dad missing from the picture, you are not alone.

My dad’s name was John Glenn. He was not the astronaut, but occasionally this John Glenn didn’t mind leveraging his famous name in a tough situation. A restaurant hostess once asked dad if he was, “the real John Glenn,” assuming she probably meant the astronaut, not the actuary. Naturally, he told her he was. Hearing there was a celebrity in the house, she suddenly whisked us through the crowded lobby to a table that had magically become available. Go dad.

His office was the coolest place on earth, fully furnished with carbon paper, stamp pads and an adding machine the size of a Boeing 747. Even now, a whiff of pipe tobacco takes me back to the massive mahogany desk in dad’s office. I’ll never forget the day I filled his cherished wooden pipe with bubbles. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Dad proudly displayed our clay hand prints and melted crayon waxed paper bookmarks. On his desk were framed photos of his five hooligan kids- even the awkward beautiful middle school pictures with our dominant front teeth before braces. No matter how busy he was, dad always seemed to have time to hear about our latest shenanigans.    

How about you? If you are missing your dad right now, Father’s Day can feel suffocating. What will you do with Father’s Day this year? Maybe one of these ideas will help:

Change things up. Be intentional to plan your strategy for the holiday. Spend time with family or friends who understand. You might even want to get out of town somewhere refreshing and away from the intense Father’s Day hype.

Tell somebody. Often after losing someone, you’re surrounded by people, flowers and a mountain of cards. Sadly, as flowers fade and the crowd disappears, the silence can be deafening. If you’re struggling this Father’s day you might need to let someone know what you need- maybe to meet for coffee or join you for a walk or to take in a mindless movie.

Remember. Telling your family’s stories is one of the best ways to keep memories fresh and allow healing to begin. Let people know it’s okay to say the name of the person you’re missing. 

I encourage you to keep telling the story of your dad’s life this Father’s Day. What I would give right now to add up a few #s on dad’s monstrous adding machine!  Love you, Dad.

You’d probably never guess the what these phenomenal beautiful women have in common. Each of their stories is unique, and the bond they share is strong- many will last a lifetime. 

They are US Military widows, and part of the American Widow Project. Hearing about their heroes has given me a whole new level of appreciation for the sacrifices military families make every day.

For the past couple years, it’s been an incredible honor to spend some time with them at three AWP getaway weekends-Folly Beach, South Carolina, Phoenix, Arizona and in the Great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee.

What’s funny is how I always show up with pages of notes, thinking I could somehow offer them encouragement. What actually happens is quite the opposite, as their stories continue to teach me volumes about love and embracing life again after unthinkable loss.

This Memorial Day weekend I wanted to share a few things the “widow sisters” have taught me.

1) just because I’m smiling doesn’t mean I’m not grieving. I have to keep going even when it feels like I’m, “swimming in peanut butter.”

2) if you have a funny story or a photo of my man, please send it to me. Saying his name reminds me of the difference he made in your life, and that you miss him, too.

3) f-i-n-e is a four letter word. If I say it, and you don’t think I mean it, you probably need to ask a few more questions.

4) I might need to drop off the social media grid for a while; but please keep calling and texting me. I cherish your friendship.

5) over time I may decide to go back to school, learn to play guitar or even move cross country. Starting new things is a good way to keep moving forward.

6) when someone says, “call if you need anything,” I probably won’t. A better idea might be to suggest, “I’d love to bring your dinner tonight or tomorrow night- OK?” Also, gift cards for a movie, restaurant, groceries are also greatly appreciated.

7) if an anniversary, birthday or patriotic holiday is coming up, please let me know you’re thinking about me and my hero. Those can be particularly difficult days.

8) Even though I will forever love and miss my hero, I’m tougher than I ever thought I was. I will survive this.

Thank you, ladies for showing me what true grit looks like.

The American Widow Project believes no military widow should feel alone in her grief. To find out how you can get involved, please visit their inspiring website here http://americanwidowproject.org/

I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of free things. 

That’s why I’m so excited to share this Grief Survivor Six Week Group Study Guide with you. 

Did I mention the pdf download is free? 

So, here you go. I hope your church, organization or even group of friends going through a tough time after loss will find comfort together.

God’s peace, Beth 

It was Mother’s day weekend, and life was especially good. With our kids scattered across the country, the thought of traveling to Colorado to spend a couple days with our daughter, Amy seemed like a particularly excellent idea.

I stopped in an airport restaurant for breakfast and crossed paths with one of the friendliest waiters I’ve ever met. Lamar obviously loves people and loves his work. As he delivered my coffee and spinach omelette, we started to talk about Mother’s Day. Lamar’s face lit up as he described his amazing mom. He referred to himself unashamedly as a, “mama’s boy.” You could just tell he was a great kid. 

A few minutes later, Lamar returned to my table and asked me about my mom. I casually responded, “she is in heaven.” There was no way to predict the crocodile tears that suddenly began to stream down my face with those four simple words. Mom has been gone sixteen years, and most of my tears now are tears of gratefulness to have had such an incredible and fun influence in my life. I remember wondering, shouldn’t there be a time limit on tsunamis of tears?!  

I could sense Lamar’s pain, thinking he had upset me. He sat down next to me, patted my back and gently assured me that it was OK to cry. I didn’t have the guts to tell him his words are quoted almost verbatim in my most recent book, Grief Survivor~ 28 Steps toward Hope and Healing. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, through the mascara dripping down my cheek, that I spend much of my life speaking and writing to help other people find hope after loss. I doubt he would have believed me anyway!  

Lamar’s words reminded me that it really is OK to cry; and it’s OK to laugh– no matter how long it’s been. 

If you’re missing your mom, a beloved child or anyone else special~ I hope you’ll come across an unexpected angel like Lamar, right when you need him most.